I’d like to start off by saying: Damn, it’s cold.
That’s right, I’m going to complain about the weather. This is happening. source
It may be winter everywhere but UOW has to be the coldest place right now. Maybe it’s our campus’s squishy location between the mountains and the sea, or maybe we’re just special, but I’ve always felt that no matter what the weather is like elsewhere, our university has its own very extreme climate. Because of this it can be easy to rely on power-sucking temperature control
solutions (damn their ease of use!). But, as responsible young people of the modern world (who also happen to attend the dream campus of any nature-lover) it’s up to us to take care of our environment to preserve it for the future. There are plenty of environmentally friendly ways to keep warm on campus which are employed by a wide collection of different students. These unique specimens have adapted to their environment and the harsh winters of UOW. It is only by studying them that we shall unlock their secrets to success.
let’s do this. source
Take for example, a subspecies of student who frequent the library. They’re extremely fortunate as they live in a habitat surrounded by large quantities of books. These could potentially be used as fire fuel for warmth. However, understanding the environmental impact this primitive method would have on their delicate ecosystem; these students have pursued alternate methods. Energy conservation is crucial for these organisms as they continuously expend vast amounts of energy procrastinating while they insist they are ‘busy doing work’. To combat energy loss through heat, these people rely on knitted garments which cover their body, creating a layer of warm air between them and the outside elements. Dressing warmly is their secret weapon.
Another alternate heating method is employed by a branch of the student family which rarely leave their territory even for social events, which other species of students regard as very important such as classes. They dwell in enclosed spaces with plentiful supplies of alcoholic solutions (and sometimes also kebabs). At UOW, there is one main area which meets such requirements. You will often find them at ‘the Unibar’. It’s small space that provides an environment for them to huddle together in effort to share body heat and gasbag. This creates a hot pocket of air much like that employed by the unrelated penguin of Antarctica who lives in similar temperatures. This method of heating utilises clean, student fuelled energy in order to minimalise negative environmental impact.
Students who live in nests away from their families and out on their own exist in possibly the harshest conditions of all. Not yet fully grown and still learning, they do not always have the means to maintain a certain standard of comfort. As a result these students have evolved a behavioural trait to conserve energy and retain warmth. Often they will spend most of their hours asleep, only rising for compulsory tutorials and labs and skipping lectures, which they consider to be far less important. These students only expend energy for the most basic tasks, and instead exist in a comatose state, remaining in their warm beds playing Xbox. This is a primal instinct carried and perfected by students living out of home; the masters of energy conservation.
I know it’s super cold and your brain may seem like it just doesn’t want to work right now (especially at the start of session when you’re still coming to terms with the long and tragic breakup you had with a regular sleeping pattern over the holidays), but luckily for us there are a bunch of ways to warm up and keep comfy.
UOW101 