TERTANGALA – Editorial: Just The Tip

We’re come so far, and we have so far to go

What do you think about when you think about the 60s? Do you envision girls in mini-skirts, political activism, The Beatles and sexual awakening? You probably wouldn’t imagine men and women being arrested for expressing love to one another and just being true to themselves, but the reality is that homosexuality and bisexuality were both outlawed until 1967.

It’s looking back at times like this, which seem not too long ago, that shows us far we’ve come today.

As a society, we have progressed so much in our acceptance of others and this is a beautiful thing. Life for non-heterosexual individuals is closer to reaching equality every day, and we’re excited to give it a push with our annual gender and sexuality issue.

Why are some people still learning that most basic of childhood lessons:  treat all people the way you would like to be treated? By now it should be basic human knowledge that love is love, all love is valid and all peoples are valid.

This issue, our annual Gender and Sexuality issue, is a celebration of this progression and a drive for further action.

TERTANGALA – Editorial: Zombie Survival Guide

An important question that every young university student must face at some point in their lives has been on the minds of your Tertangala editors: what is your have a zombie apocalypse survival plan?

In 20 years-time, (because let’s be honest, the outbreak is imminent) when the dust has settled and the last zombie is classified as brain dead, what will you say when they ask the question “where were you when the apocalypse began?”

Zombies are, in our opinion, more implausible than impossible.  Maybe not the whole ‘dead rising from the grave’ thing but if you  think about it, a disease attacking the brain, causing violent and irrational behaviour doesn’t sound so far-fetched.  There were actually a few supposed cases of real “zombies” in Haiti. A researcher, Wade Davis, claimed to have discovered what he called a zombie powder back in 1985 (oh the 80s, you were so wacky).  This was really surprisingly recent, since we assumed this stuff should have been happening, you know, before we learnt about that little thing called science. Davis suggested that there were two powders which would enter the blood stream (usually by a cut) and could be used to turn some Haitians into zombies.  The first powder supposedly contained tetrodotoxin, which is the neurotoxin found in pufferfish and the second, a dissociative drug similar to datura.  Davis said that together, these powders produced a death like state and victims would seem to die and be buried only to “re-awaken” into a psychotic state.

Creepy right?

Luckily, there were a lot of scientific inaccuracies in Davis’s work, so don’t call it quits just yet.

In terms of a survival plan for the inevitable, It’s okay, The Tert’s got your back. As it turns out, there’s actually some science behind the perfect hideout.

According to a team of statisticians from Cornell University in the US the best place to hide out is a remote and rocky area… Uluru anyone? With the best places to avoid infection being “remote [and] sparsely populated locations”.

“Given the dynamics of the disease, once the zombies invade more sparsely populated areas, the whole outbreak slows down- there are fewer humans to bite, so you start creating zombies at a slower rate,” lead statistician, Alex Alemi, stated.

That means, contrary to popular zombie survival theories, a shopping mall or your local pub are not the way to go. Unless, of course, you’re content in living your last days eating cheap fast food and trying on clothes you’d never be able to afford in real life or getting so drunk your chances of a nudie run through a bloodthirsty horde are quite high.

 

This issue of the Tert is packed full of nerdy goodness, from Star Wars and Spiderman movie speculation to Sexism in Cosplay and Censorship in China. We also have a bunch of great reviews on books, games, movies and music (definitely check out the 20 Games for Under 20) as well as an amazing artist profile with Ian Bool. This is our favourite issue so far, with more articles than ever before on everything techy, nerdy, gaming, geeky and relating to the environment. So, before you head off to the middle of nowhere to begin your new zombie free existence, check out some of the article for an awesome read. And as always, let us know what you think at thetert@gmail.com or on the website, http://www.tertangala.net

 

By Rebecca Wiggins and Gemma Mollenhauer

TERTANGALA – The 5 Geeks You’ll Meet at UOW

They’re everywhere. They’re in our cities. They’re in our neighbourhoods. They’re in streets. They’re even in our universities. Cue dramatic screaming…

Things have changed a lot since high school (thank god!) and more and more now, it seems that people are celebrating their geekdom rather than shunning it. Geek-prohibition is over and as a result, some of your friends may have come out of the closet (or Tardis, depending on what they prefer). As such, it’s not unlikely that you’ve come into contact with these lovable characters at some point in your university experience.

The Alice in Wollongong:

They almost always have their nose buried in their readings for five weeks from now (they completed this week’s readings before session even started). You can’t really recall a time in their studies where their average dropped below an Ender Wiggin level of genius, and you’re pretty sure their brain is rigged with some sort of time-turner device. They also literally have more hours in the day than you since they got up before 11. Their room has some really nice Beautiful Mind decoration going on because they’re never switched off and they have self-discipline down to an art-form. Sometimes it’s hard being around them since every time you hang out you feel a little bit guilty about skipping your lecture… again. Do you even attend classes anymore? However, they inspire you. That is, they inspire you to do your homework, to be a better student, and to be a better person (partly so you can rub it in their damn over achieving face). On top of that, you know they’re always willing to help you be better because they want you to do just as well (it gets lonely at the top). Gold stars are their Mr. Darcy and tardiness is their Voldemort.

The Tech Wizard:

Part human, part machine and definitely related to Robocop, these geeks may seem out of this world. Every time you pop over to their house to say ‘hey’ (and maybe also suggest it’s time leave the World of Warcraft for today and enter the world of reality) they’ve added to their collection of computer screens and soon they’ll have their own Cerebro.  You think the last time they saw sunlight was while praising it with Solaire of Astora and they continue to insist that League of Legends is a legitimate sport. While they may be a bit of a shut in and their passion for gaming and gadgets reaches disturbingly high levels (some people have sex toys, they have an Arduino board), you have to admit they definitely know their stuff. You’ve never seen anyone more capable at commanding technology that it blows your mind. While you struggle with working out how to use the remote, they seem to magically understand the most complicated of machines. Not to mention, they’re pretty handy to have around when your computer is throwing a tantrum and you’re having a meltdown.

Tsundere Student:

Some may call it childish, others may insist it’s “cartoons”, they would incinerate these people with some Roy Mustang inspired alchemy. You don’t think you’ve even taken a picture with them where they weren’t throwing up a peace sign (you know it’s “kawaii” but they’re derailing your selfies) and they seem to speak flawless Japanese, despite you never seeing them actually attend any of their international studies classes. You can’t stand watching movies with them since they’re always subbed, and let’s not even get started on how confused you were after they made you sit through Neon Genesis Evangelion (even Totoro made more sense than this). They even named their first car The Bebop and second one Lagann. Even though sometimes they embarrass you when they scream “moon tiara magic” when you play Frisbee, they’ve opened up your world to so much more. They’re not exactly what you’d call a jet setter, but they’ve taught you a lot about countries and cultures you had no idea about. They’ve enriched your life and shared their passion with you. Ultimately, they’re your waifu.

The Wolf of Crown Street

When you open a newspaper (let’s just pretend for a second that we still read news in papers) you pass them the business section as you flick straight to the comics. They’re inherently old fashioned like that, like they’ve just stepped off of ‘80s Wall Street (the bright optimistic perspective of someone pre the GFC, suspenders, and all). You’re pretty sure they’ve been playing the market since that one time their mum didn’t give them their hard earned allowance raise when they were 10 (and we all know about lollies inflation). You even heard from an ex-partner of theirs that they once screamed “SELL” in bed. While they’re obviously very penny-wise, you’re kind of sick of the tut-tutting you receive every time you blow your Centrelink on a Steam sale, and it seems like their idea of casual is the same outfit you wore to your year twelve formal (which makes it kind of hard to blend in at Hotel Illawarra). Luckily, they’re always more than happy to shout you a beer (or five, they can afford it). And you know every time you encounter scary, adult-world obstacles, such as doing taxes, applying for a loan, keeping a good credit rating, they’re actually excited to walk you through the process step by step.  SWOT is their mantra and Venkat is their idol.

Dr. Mad Scientist

Dr. Doom, eat your heart out; this mad scientist is a whole other level of crazy. You’re not 100% sure what they do at uni exactly but you’re almost certain that it’s diabolical. You know when someone looks normal on the surface until you happen to catch that deranged twinkle in their eye? Well even Emma Frost doesn’t twinkle this much. You don’t envy their roommates because you’ve seen the cultures they’ve sampled and incubated in their kitchen, not to mention the biological warfare going on in their bathroom. Sometimes it’s hard to believe they didn’t jump straight off the pages of a comic book and into your life, recruiting you as their very own side-kick. In any other universe, they’d probably be 1v1ing Batman since you’re sure they’re the Joker incarnate. But, despite their nefarious ways, deep down they definitely care for you. Whether it’s diagnosing the difference between your hangover vs your imaginary aneurism, or calmly removing the biology from your life (spiders are your ultimate foe), they’ve shown time and time again that they’re looking out for you. At the very least, you know that when the day does come that they take over the world, you will be spared from their Dr. Horrible inspired freeze-ray. And maybe kept as a pet.

TERTANGALA – To The Beat of My Own Drum

They marched through the city streets, easily differentiated from the other pedestrians. They sported chokers and ankle high boots and immaculately trimmed beards and all manner of fancy hats. They darted throughout foot traffic, all headed in the one direction; the direction of a sort of beating noise. I guess you could say it was like a kind of drumming? The beating of a drum? Yeah, it was definitely Beat the Drum.

And so it was that on the 16^th of January I found myself attending Triple J’s 40^th anniversary celebratory concert in The Domain, Sydney (permission to be jealous now). Music permeated the streets all the way to the edge of Hyde Park (probably because we were running late, as always) and its murmur sent tremors through the crowd so that the general pace of everyone steadily quickened.

Reaching the gates and filtering through, patrons were met with a simple but effective design, with one main stage laid out along the scrolling hills of the main park and surrounded by a horseshoe of food and, of course, beverage outlets. By the time I made it in, the concert was well underway with Ball Park Music kicking it off, just one big name in the amazing lineup. Throughout the short but sweet day, I was graced with a combination of full and mini sets from some of my favourites including Vance Joy, Goyte, The Preatures, You Am I, Cat Empire, Illy, Sarah Blasko, The Presets and The Hiltop Hoods. Not to mention all the other bands I’d never heard of.

Triple J packed as much into the short time and one stage that they could. And good god was it jam packed! The mosh was the perfect combination of chilled out and happy without being subdued and hyped without being violent. The crowd bounced off each other with all manner of dance moves (I personally sported a fabulous rendition of the sprinkler).

High points for the evening were definitely the amazing crossovers and covers that featured throughout the concert, giving the audience a taste of the unusual and unexpected. The peaks of this for me included Ball Park Music’s cover of the Hoodoo Gurus classic Like Wow – Wipeout, featuring an actual member of the Hoodoo Gurus, Dave Faulkner and The Preatures cover of Boys in Town with Divinyls guitarist Mark McEntee.

As afternoon hit dusk, the chilled tunes and odd, smokey haze that began rising from the crowd around Heart’s a Mess by Goyte, gave way to a more party vibe. Stage lights flashed with a new, multi-coloured intensity and the mood only escalated; proving the Barney Stinson theory that you don’t need any falls for a good mix in music, it should just be all rise! The Presets saw me on my friends shoulders, literally screaming (as a short person, I wasn’t prepared for her average height lifestyle) but calming down enough to belt out My People. By the end of the night, The Hilltop Hoods brought me all the way back to my 11 year old love affair with Nose Bleed Section, ending a perfect day on a perfect note.

Stumbling away from the show, it was clear that every attendee’s spirits were high as folks shared cigarettes and laughs from the bathroom queue all the way to Town Hall station.  Honestly, after a long spell of purely rock and metal concerts, Beat the Drum was the perfect combination of everything for me and really encapsulated the aus-centric, something-for-everyone vibe of Triple J in one amazing package. So, happy 40 years, Triple J and thanks for the bitchin’ party.

TERTANGALA – UOW101: Survival Guide

You made it. Take a deep breath in … and out.

The University of Wollongong is possibly the most laid back, friendliest and home to the most duck ponds per capita of any university in the world. And now you totally go here! However, it’s not quite time to relax yet. No matter your background, you’ll find that the transition to university life can be very difficult and stressful. Luckily for you, you’re not alone and you have the opportunity to learn from the experiences of others. So, here it is; your tool to mastering UOW and an ultimate survival guide tried and tested by yours truly.

Lesson 1: Keep your friends close and the friends you actually want to see again closer

Remember a couple of hours ago when you passed your friend outside the library only to realise you’d both be free at one today? Remember how you said “I have to run to class right now but I’ll text you at 1ish for lunch?” and they were all “Yeah sure! See you later!”? Well, it’s time to file your missing persons report because you’re never going to see them ever again.

Unless you’re paying through the nose for Telstra and their coveted reception, you just need to get used to the idea that a university in the shadow of a mountain isn’t going to get along with your phone company. There is ONE spot on campus that sometimes graces students with cell activity and this is directly outside the library. It’s not an easy hot spot to master and you may have to perform a sort of ritualistic dance around the quad, with outstretched arm and phone in hand, in order to beg for the generosity of the reception gods. In short, it’s very hit and miss and be prepared for the judgement of Panizzi onlookers.

I’ve always felt that the social life of UOW is one of the university’s nicest elements and connecting with friends here is a must for a happy, healthy uni experience. So you should make a bit of an effort to meet up and plan ahead. Otherwise you could always try messaging them over Facebook but this leads me to my next point.

Lesson 2: It’s not you, it’s the servers

I know, you’ve been trying to connect to the wifi since eleven and you’re tired and frustrated and upset but I promise the world is not against you! There’s no problem with your laptop so you need to stop bothering the tech support people, they can’t help you either. The truth there’s just more people on the internet than UOW can handle and there’s no quick fix for it.

Between 11 and 4:30 the internet fights a hard battle so if you have assignments you need to finish off, even if it’s just the bibliography, you need to plan out finishing them with this dip in mind because a lack of internet can quickly disrupt your best laid plans (read: my bibliography took me 2 hours).

If you’re desperate for internet and willing to make the trip you could always travel down to building 3 (the computer sciences home ground) and connect to the UOW wifi down there since more people are connected to Freedom wifi and there’s a stronger signal in building 3. The down side of this is that if you’re an arts student such as myself, you’re on enemy turf. You never really say you’re not in computer science but somehow they just know it and you know they know it. If you have a thick skin or find some sympathetic IT students and bridge the gap, this situation is fine. Otherwise, you’ll have to battle it out for a desktop computer with a sweet, sweet Ethernet connection. These can be found all throughout the library and building 14 (the one that links to the library) but you’ll be lucky if you can secure one. I guess you could always go back to playing solitaire on your laptop …again.

Lesson 3: As all roads lead to Rome, all buses lead to UOW:

When I first began studying at Wollongong I had many a misadventure on the bus. I still hadn’t explored the whole campus and when I got off in an area I was unfamiliar with, I thought I was stranded at the mysterious Wollongong Tafe. I was so embarrassed that I had gotten lost on the bus and supposedly ended up at this other institution that I wouldn’t even open up my campus map to check because I thought someone might see the UOW insignia on it and realise what an idiot I was. And then I found the library. I was an idiot for other reasons.

I wish I could say this only happened once. Because the number 9 bus (the only bus that goes to and from North Gong station and the one you want to catch) has two routes and I went made this mistake on both of them. One of the routes leads directly to the main bus bay out the front of uni on Northfields Avenue and one makes its way around the campus to a series of stops on what is called the Ring Road Loop (goes past building 3 computer science, building 41 science, building 25 creative arts, Hope Theatre) until it too also ends up at the main bus bay. But really, anything you’re catching from North Gong station is going to end up at uni so there’s no need to worry about that.

The other buses that run in and out of uni (apart from the Campbeltown bus which I have no knowledge or understanding of) are the free green buses that travel all around Wollongong. FOR FREE!!! There’s a 55A and a 55C, and basically all you really need to be aware of is that A stands for anti-clockwise and heads towards Wollongong hospital and C stands for clockwise which heads to Fairy Meadow (note: disappointingly not as magical as it sounds).

Lesson 4: General advice flash-round

Save money everywhere, even if it’s just by packing your own lunch. Prepare for the possibility that there is no ebook version of that one amazing book you need and take solace in the fact that when you do go to the library to get a physical copy, you will look and feel like Hermione Granger. You’re not a teenager with a teenager’s metabolism anymore; you can’t eat terribly without consequence so learn to love your veggies. Uni is great and parties are fun but you didn’t come to UOW to sport a hangover every morning; you came to learn, so that comes first. But most of all…

Lesson 5: Relax

You have a lecture on in five minutes and you just woke up in your bathtub covered in the remains of your midnight Maccas feast with no time to pack your own lunch. Oh and also there’s no ebook version of the main source you’ve cited in that essay due at 4. Dude, you broke like all my rules.

Once again, take a deep breath in … and out.

My all-time favourite quote originates from the works of Persian poets. It’s “and in time, this too shall pass.” Good or bad, things always do. Somehow things just always seem to work out. There are always professors willing to cut you some slack and always solutions to your problems. If you need some extra support counselling services are available 5 days a week through the uni between 9am-5pm and you can make a booking by calling 02 4221 3225. Just remember, this is not the be all and end all of your entire existence, as much as that one power tripping lecturer would like you to believe. Always keep focusing on the positives and go ahead and enjoy yourself! You earned it.

TERTANGALA – Not Quite David Attenborough: The Winter Life Of Uni Students

I’d like to start off by saying: Damn, it’s cold.

That’s right, I’m going to complain about the weather. This is happening. source

It may be winter everywhere but UOW has to be the coldest place right now. Maybe it’s our campus’s squishy location between the mountains and the sea, or maybe we’re just special, but I’ve always felt that no matter what the weather is like elsewhere, our university has its own very extreme climate. Because of this it can be easy to rely on power-sucking temperature control
solutions (damn their ease of use!). But, as responsible young people of the modern world (who also happen to attend the dream campus of any nature-lover) it’s up to us to take care of our environment to preserve it for the future. There are plenty of environmentally friendly ways to keep warm on campus which are employed by a wide collection of different students. These unique specimens have adapted to their environment and the harsh winters of UOW. It is only by studying them that we shall unlock their secrets to success.

let’s do this. source

Take for example, a subspecies of student who frequent the library. They’re extremely fortunate as they live in a habitat surrounded by large quantities of books. These could potentially be used as fire fuel for warmth. However, understanding the environmental impact this primitive method would have on their delicate ecosystem; these students have pursued alternate methods. Energy conservation is crucial for these organisms as they continuously expend vast amounts of energy procrastinating while they insist they are ‘busy doing work’. To combat energy loss through heat, these people rely on knitted garments which cover their body, creating a layer of warm air between them and the outside elements. Dressing warmly is their secret weapon.

Another alternate heating method is employed by a branch of the student family which rarely leave their territory even for social events, which other species of students regard as very important such as classes. They dwell in enclosed spaces with plentiful supplies of alcoholic solutions (and sometimes also kebabs). At UOW, there is one main area which meets such requirements. You will often find them at ‘the Unibar’. It’s small space that provides an environment for them to huddle together in effort to share body heat and gasbag. This creates a hot pocket of air much like that employed by the unrelated penguin of Antarctica who lives in similar temperatures. This method of heating utilises clean, student fuelled energy in order to minimalise negative environmental impact.

Students who live in nests away from their families and out on their own exist in possibly the harshest conditions of all. Not yet fully grown and still learning, they do not always have the means to maintain a certain standard of comfort. As a result these students have evolved a behavioural trait to conserve energy and retain warmth. Often they will spend most of their hours asleep, only rising for compulsory tutorials and labs and skipping lectures, which they consider to be far less important. These students only expend energy for the most basic tasks, and instead exist in a comatose state, remaining in their warm beds playing Xbox. This is a primal instinct carried and perfected by students living out of home; the masters of energy conservation.

I know it’s super cold and your brain may seem like it just doesn’t want to work right now (especially at the start of session when you’re still coming to terms with the long and tragic breakup you had with a regular sleeping pattern over the holidays), but luckily for us there are a bunch of ways to warm up and keep comfy.

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 4

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 3

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 2

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 1