Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 3

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 2

Stuff UOW Students Never Say: 1

Hey UOW, coffee sometime? ;)

my every Monday. source

Well. That escalated quickly. However, I’d be lying if I said that every Monday morning images of bloody murder in the coffee queue hadn’t flashed through my mind (don’t judge till you wait over 15 minutes for your morning pick me up). You see, I’m Bec and I have a caffeine addiction.

Hi Bec.

If you’re a coffee lover like me you should definitely check out this blog which is entirely devoted to UOW’s coffee culture. I think one of the things I really like about coffee, apart from the whole caffeinated Bec appeal, are the baristas. And I’m not just talking about how handsome or pretty they always seem to be (although they really are), I’m talking about how nice and friendly they are. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, poor Bec doesn’t realise the baristas are being paid to talk to her. Well hey, you don’t understand the special friendship we have. But really, I used to work as a barista and let me tell you, I was not nearly as chatty and personable. Buying coffee from me went something like this:

I think you can understand why the job didn’t work out

Small talk is somewhat of an art and faking a genuine interest in people is WAY harder then it looks. So, for me at least, my coffee love affair isn’t just about the coffee, it’s about the whole coffee buying experience (Oh wow, so deep)

Now, I hear a lot of people talking about where the best coffee on campus is and at the moment I’ve mostly heard that its a tie between Out For Lunch and Panizzi’s. Guys, the indecision has to stop. It’s time to unite, end the debate once and for all the only way we can, with a gladiator type fight to the death between the coffee outlets on campus. There can only be one.

Or, I guess I could write up some criteria, take an expert around and name a champion, either/or.

This is Sam Griffiths. He picked out the photo and doesn’t really look this classy in real life but at first glace he looks so professional, right?

Sam Griffiths is a coffee connoisseur. Sam is still in his first year at UOW and is only 19 but when it comes to this beautifully brewed beverage, he knows his stuff.

“In two of my past jobs, I’ve had to travel vast distances and be awake for long periods of time, as well as be awake at unnatural hours (4am) and because of this I’ve had to try various coffee outlets around Australia ranging from all over SA, QLD and NSW,” he states matter-of-factly when asked about his qualifications.

In a couple of days time I’ll be taking Mr. Griffiths around uni and treating him to coffee as he tests out what UOW coffee is really made of. (we’re hoping its coffee beans)

We’ll be judging on price, the punctuality of the coffee’s delivery, the quality of the baristas’ chit chat and of course the taste of the coffee. If you see us around campus please come over and say hi and maybe get a photo so we can include you in the second part of this post where we will post the results of the Ultimate Coffee Showdown and reveal our winner. You’ll be able to spot us by the short chick awkwardly asking baristas if she can take their photo while trying not to be creepy and the tall blonde guy who will be WAY too energetic after devouring  around 8 cappuccinos. I’m not really sure how great having a heavily caffeinated Sam around is going to be but I feel like I’m already regretting this…

Let the championship begin!

An ode to ‘training it’ to Uni

A while ago I wrote a post on another blog about the train and I though ‘hey you know who uses trains? UOW students!’ so here’s an updated version for you guys.

So, here’s the thing:

I don’t like trains.

Trains are scum. source

In order to get to UOW each day I must travel an hour by train (what I don’t pay in rent I pay in time wasted on the train).  I’ve been doing this for a year and a half now and let me tell you, in this time this trip has not improved, at all.  I think the trip was awesome for about the first week when the scenery was still cool to look at and the novelty of a Hunter train hadn’t worn off yet. But the lack of train etiquette, on not only this train but (in my experience) all City Rail trains, is both astounding and disturbing.

For me, there are two basic types of rudeness on the train. The first of which I have nicknamed DJ Train Tracks (can you say, best DJ name ever? Possibly not). These are the people who insist on listening to their music aloud in trains.  Look, I like music to accompany my train trip just as much as the next hip young adult but:

source

I don’t get on this train every damn day to listen to your shitty music.  No, you are not some kind of modern day Robin Hood, bestowing the riches of your iPod on us poor, musicless folk.  You’re just irritating.

Without fail I regularly hear some pre-teen music prodigy blaring their latest pop throughout the carriage, echoing in the recesses of my mind and awakening a dormant urge to murder everything.  Whoops, did I type that aloud?

Seriously, why would people think this is a good idea? Are you so insecure about yourself that you’re trying to prove how fun you are through your taste in music and now you’re showing us all, whether we wanted to know or not? I didn’t think you were a cool and interesting person at the start of this trip and you certainly didn’t prove it to me with your music at the end of this trip.

The other kinds of monsters on the train are those people who take up seats unnecessarily. You are possibly the most awful kind of people, the one’s going to:

guys, I miss Firefly. source

My rule of thumb is:

• A passenger riding by themselves in a two seater seat? Acceptable.
• A passenger riding by themselves in a six seater seat? You’re lucky there are too many witnesses here.

It is almost impossible to find a seat on the train despite there being more than enough fitted into the carriages. You, you fiends somehow think that this kind of behaviour is acceptable.  It’s just not.

Today, after walking through the entire train searching for a seat anywhere I finally found one.  That was until I realised there was already something taking up that seat.  It was a bag. Not even a person, just their suitcase. …WHY?! What would make you think, in a crowded train at peak hour, that you and your suitcase are so special that this is a chill move?  And god forbid I ever ask you to flip over three of your six seats.  The expressions I get when I ask this seemingly reasonable question are akin to those of people who are privy to puppy decapitation: a mixture of shock, horror and bewilderment.

Let’s take a deep breath now: SSIIIGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Rant over. Do you guys ever see this stuff on the train of is it just me? Or, are there other kinds of monsters that I’ve missed? Let me know in the comments below and we’ll all start a car pool and never have to suffer the train again 😀 Please?

Reference List:

Image ‘Your music is bad and you should feel bad’ sourced from http://i.qkme.me/3owg7b.jpg

Image ‘The Special Hell’ sourced from http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dKadIOmOXDw/TdgCCWgWFwI/AAAAAAAAMsM/0Za12CAarD0/s400/special%2Bhell2

Image ‘I Like Trains’ sourced from http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/104/9/3/i_like_trains_by_stefjusthewolf-d4w4sot.jpg