TERTANGALA – Editorial: Zombie Survival Guide

An important question that every young university student must face at some point in their lives has been on the minds of your Tertangala editors: what is your have a zombie apocalypse survival plan?

In 20 years-time, (because let’s be honest, the outbreak is imminent) when the dust has settled and the last zombie is classified as brain dead, what will you say when they ask the question “where were you when the apocalypse began?”

Zombies are, in our opinion, more implausible than impossible.  Maybe not the whole ‘dead rising from the grave’ thing but if you  think about it, a disease attacking the brain, causing violent and irrational behaviour doesn’t sound so far-fetched.  There were actually a few supposed cases of real “zombies” in Haiti. A researcher, Wade Davis, claimed to have discovered what he called a zombie powder back in 1985 (oh the 80s, you were so wacky).  This was really surprisingly recent, since we assumed this stuff should have been happening, you know, before we learnt about that little thing called science. Davis suggested that there were two powders which would enter the blood stream (usually by a cut) and could be used to turn some Haitians into zombies.  The first powder supposedly contained tetrodotoxin, which is the neurotoxin found in pufferfish and the second, a dissociative drug similar to datura.  Davis said that together, these powders produced a death like state and victims would seem to die and be buried only to “re-awaken” into a psychotic state.

Creepy right?

Luckily, there were a lot of scientific inaccuracies in Davis’s work, so don’t call it quits just yet.

In terms of a survival plan for the inevitable, It’s okay, The Tert’s got your back. As it turns out, there’s actually some science behind the perfect hideout.

According to a team of statisticians from Cornell University in the US the best place to hide out is a remote and rocky area… Uluru anyone? With the best places to avoid infection being “remote [and] sparsely populated locations”.

“Given the dynamics of the disease, once the zombies invade more sparsely populated areas, the whole outbreak slows down- there are fewer humans to bite, so you start creating zombies at a slower rate,” lead statistician, Alex Alemi, stated.

That means, contrary to popular zombie survival theories, a shopping mall or your local pub are not the way to go. Unless, of course, you’re content in living your last days eating cheap fast food and trying on clothes you’d never be able to afford in real life or getting so drunk your chances of a nudie run through a bloodthirsty horde are quite high.

 

This issue of the Tert is packed full of nerdy goodness, from Star Wars and Spiderman movie speculation to Sexism in Cosplay and Censorship in China. We also have a bunch of great reviews on books, games, movies and music (definitely check out the 20 Games for Under 20) as well as an amazing artist profile with Ian Bool. This is our favourite issue so far, with more articles than ever before on everything techy, nerdy, gaming, geeky and relating to the environment. So, before you head off to the middle of nowhere to begin your new zombie free existence, check out some of the article for an awesome read. And as always, let us know what you think at thetert@gmail.com or on the website, http://www.tertangala.net

 

By Rebecca Wiggins and Gemma Mollenhauer

TERTANGALA – The 5 Geeks You’ll Meet at UOW

They’re everywhere. They’re in our cities. They’re in our neighbourhoods. They’re in streets. They’re even in our universities. Cue dramatic screaming…

Things have changed a lot since high school (thank god!) and more and more now, it seems that people are celebrating their geekdom rather than shunning it. Geek-prohibition is over and as a result, some of your friends may have come out of the closet (or Tardis, depending on what they prefer). As such, it’s not unlikely that you’ve come into contact with these lovable characters at some point in your university experience.

The Alice in Wollongong:

They almost always have their nose buried in their readings for five weeks from now (they completed this week’s readings before session even started). You can’t really recall a time in their studies where their average dropped below an Ender Wiggin level of genius, and you’re pretty sure their brain is rigged with some sort of time-turner device. They also literally have more hours in the day than you since they got up before 11. Their room has some really nice Beautiful Mind decoration going on because they’re never switched off and they have self-discipline down to an art-form. Sometimes it’s hard being around them since every time you hang out you feel a little bit guilty about skipping your lecture… again. Do you even attend classes anymore? However, they inspire you. That is, they inspire you to do your homework, to be a better student, and to be a better person (partly so you can rub it in their damn over achieving face). On top of that, you know they’re always willing to help you be better because they want you to do just as well (it gets lonely at the top). Gold stars are their Mr. Darcy and tardiness is their Voldemort.

The Tech Wizard:

Part human, part machine and definitely related to Robocop, these geeks may seem out of this world. Every time you pop over to their house to say ‘hey’ (and maybe also suggest it’s time leave the World of Warcraft for today and enter the world of reality) they’ve added to their collection of computer screens and soon they’ll have their own Cerebro.  You think the last time they saw sunlight was while praising it with Solaire of Astora and they continue to insist that League of Legends is a legitimate sport. While they may be a bit of a shut in and their passion for gaming and gadgets reaches disturbingly high levels (some people have sex toys, they have an Arduino board), you have to admit they definitely know their stuff. You’ve never seen anyone more capable at commanding technology that it blows your mind. While you struggle with working out how to use the remote, they seem to magically understand the most complicated of machines. Not to mention, they’re pretty handy to have around when your computer is throwing a tantrum and you’re having a meltdown.

Tsundere Student:

Some may call it childish, others may insist it’s “cartoons”, they would incinerate these people with some Roy Mustang inspired alchemy. You don’t think you’ve even taken a picture with them where they weren’t throwing up a peace sign (you know it’s “kawaii” but they’re derailing your selfies) and they seem to speak flawless Japanese, despite you never seeing them actually attend any of their international studies classes. You can’t stand watching movies with them since they’re always subbed, and let’s not even get started on how confused you were after they made you sit through Neon Genesis Evangelion (even Totoro made more sense than this). They even named their first car The Bebop and second one Lagann. Even though sometimes they embarrass you when they scream “moon tiara magic” when you play Frisbee, they’ve opened up your world to so much more. They’re not exactly what you’d call a jet setter, but they’ve taught you a lot about countries and cultures you had no idea about. They’ve enriched your life and shared their passion with you. Ultimately, they’re your waifu.

The Wolf of Crown Street

When you open a newspaper (let’s just pretend for a second that we still read news in papers) you pass them the business section as you flick straight to the comics. They’re inherently old fashioned like that, like they’ve just stepped off of ‘80s Wall Street (the bright optimistic perspective of someone pre the GFC, suspenders, and all). You’re pretty sure they’ve been playing the market since that one time their mum didn’t give them their hard earned allowance raise when they were 10 (and we all know about lollies inflation). You even heard from an ex-partner of theirs that they once screamed “SELL” in bed. While they’re obviously very penny-wise, you’re kind of sick of the tut-tutting you receive every time you blow your Centrelink on a Steam sale, and it seems like their idea of casual is the same outfit you wore to your year twelve formal (which makes it kind of hard to blend in at Hotel Illawarra). Luckily, they’re always more than happy to shout you a beer (or five, they can afford it). And you know every time you encounter scary, adult-world obstacles, such as doing taxes, applying for a loan, keeping a good credit rating, they’re actually excited to walk you through the process step by step.  SWOT is their mantra and Venkat is their idol.

Dr. Mad Scientist

Dr. Doom, eat your heart out; this mad scientist is a whole other level of crazy. You’re not 100% sure what they do at uni exactly but you’re almost certain that it’s diabolical. You know when someone looks normal on the surface until you happen to catch that deranged twinkle in their eye? Well even Emma Frost doesn’t twinkle this much. You don’t envy their roommates because you’ve seen the cultures they’ve sampled and incubated in their kitchen, not to mention the biological warfare going on in their bathroom. Sometimes it’s hard to believe they didn’t jump straight off the pages of a comic book and into your life, recruiting you as their very own side-kick. In any other universe, they’d probably be 1v1ing Batman since you’re sure they’re the Joker incarnate. But, despite their nefarious ways, deep down they definitely care for you. Whether it’s diagnosing the difference between your hangover vs your imaginary aneurism, or calmly removing the biology from your life (spiders are your ultimate foe), they’ve shown time and time again that they’re looking out for you. At the very least, you know that when the day does come that they take over the world, you will be spared from their Dr. Horrible inspired freeze-ray. And maybe kept as a pet.