60% of the time they work every time:
1) The dog didn’t eat my homework, but I didn’t budget for food properly this week, so I did.
2) I saw myself finishing my assignment, handing it in and then getting a HD before I woke up. It felt so real at the time.
3) I thought about doing it but the thought police found out and made me stop
4) The stuff I found on the net to plagiarise was absolute crap.
5) I cut myself on my razor sharp observations and had to go to the hospital for stitches
Reference List:
Image ‘Lazy College Student’ sourced from http://memecrunch.com/image/4f33e121186133259800080e.jpg
UOW101 
